


Uh Oh

by sirnando



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 15:20:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7719841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirnando/pseuds/sirnando
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is engaged to Isco's sister but what Isco's sister doesn't know is that maybe Isco likes James and James likes Isco (but of course they don't know that either ((yet))).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> this will be part one of idk like 3 probably. also idea came from the movie soft lad I saw so it's very very loosely based on that (basically just the whole sister cheating involvement). ALSO ALSO slightly au because Isco isn't a footballer so that is why I decided to tag it in case someone screams

Isco didn't have a full conversation with James until the latter came to ask for permission to marry his sister.

"Already?" James was taken aback.

"Well, I mean we've been dating for about three years now and I think I'm ready to take it to the next level. But I didn't want to do it unless her loving brother allowed it."

Isco wasn't sure if the loving was sarcastic or sentimental.

It's not that he didn't like James and that's why they never talked, but James was some football player playing for some football club so he always had this banquet and that training and that one child's fund meeting, so he didn't have a lot of time and was gone most of the time when Isco came over for lunch.

Isco enjoyed his job. Stapling papers and sorting name tags was now a hobby of his he liked to consider.

But James was nice enough, he thought. Sofia never complained and whenever he was around her smile and ask Isco if wanted more wine poured into his glass. Isco always said yes, James always poured gladly.

"Yeah, if she wants to then why not. But if she doesn't want to, I know how to get a restraining order." He meant for it to be a joke and he laughed too, but James didn't seem to be the joking type of guy. Weird: funny and attracted to funny ran in the family.

~  
The engagement went fantastic. Great. Fabulous. To die for. Magical. Not that Isco was there, but that’s what Sofia claimed when he came over the next day.

“That’s a big diamond, so it must have been great.” was all he could comment and she slapped his cheek and smiled. Isco also knew James wasn’t exactly poor, so at least he knew how to spend his money well.

“You know,” Sofia started, “you ought to talk to him more now. He’ll become part of the family soon and you barely know his middle name.” Isco didn’t think middle names were important, though.

“I know he plays for True Madrid and he’s some type of mid ground type of guy. He also loves wine. Is that not enough?”

“It’s Real Madrid and midfield.” but Isco wasn’t listening anymore. “I’m serious, Isco, get involved. Talk more. Get to know your new family member.”

“To be.” Now it was Sofia’s turn to stop listening.

But fine, he loved his sister so if she wanted him to get close, then he’d get close.

~

She politely informed him that James had a few days off for some mini break, and that Isco should take that time to mingle. So fine, Isco did and took his lunches off to go eat his tuna sandwiches at Sofia’s place.

James was there, on the couch playing Fifa, which was odd because that was his day job. Yeah Isco loved his stapling but he tried to stray away from bringing his job home (so all of his papers were taped together).

Another odd thing: James didn’t notice Isco was in the house until Isco sat next to him. “Oh, hi.” he paused the game and turned to Isco.

“Oh yeah, ha, hi didn’t see you there.” James didn’t smile. Tough guy.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was driving from the store and I noticed I took a wrong turn and ended up on your street so I decided to feed the cat.” James looked confused. 

“The cat only gets fed in the morning and afternoon when we’re home?”

He was getting tougher.

“Right, I know. I was just joking. You know, jokes, it’s a Spanish thing no big deal.” He knew James was Colombian and he wished that was enough for Sofia. “My sister wanted me to get to know you better, since, you know, you’re engaged to be married to be hopefully not but maybe divorced. So this could be short lived, but she wants us to make the best of it.” Isco smiled. James tried.

“Oh, ok. Well I’m James Rodriguez.” He stuck his hand out. Isco shook it but he wasn’t sure if the guy was serious or being sarcastic.

“I’m Isco Alarcon. Francisco actually, but that’s a taboo topic.”

“Ok.”

James looked down. Isco bit his lip. How did Sofia deal with it?

“Well personally, I think Sofia Alarcon sounds better than Sofia Rodriguez but whatever, if she wants to up and leave us, it’s her life.” Isco never meant to sound pessimistic.

“Oh, well, I don’t intend on taking her away.”

“Yeah, of course not, I know. You’re not some closeted freak. And not closeted as in gay but you know, hidden in the darkness of the sweaters and underwear you’re actually a psycho.”

James got red. Isco shut up. He didn’t babble often, but when he did, it was bad.

“Right, ok well I’m not going to bother you with my tuna smelliness so I’m gonna go.” He pat the cat on the head and pulled his shoes on.

James followed him to the door to say goodbye. And before Isco left he said, “You know, if you bring something less smelly and another to share, you’re welcome to come back tomorrow.”

So that’s why Sofia was getting married to him.

~  
Sofia called him that night and asked how it went. Isco explained how well it all sounded and that he would return with a lunch for two.

“Oh thank god, I’m scared he’ll starve because he is horrible at making any type of food.” Her voice was lower, Isco assumed James was still Fifa’ing.

“Don’t worry, I’ll bring two sandwiches so he can store some in the couch for later.”

~  
And he did. And James laughed, took his brown bag and threw it on the couch.

“You’re not hungry?”

“No. I ate a cereal bar in milk just a while ago.”

“You mean with milk?”

“No, it was in the milk. Isn’t it supposed to be?” James was serious. Isco just smiled tightly and nodded once.

He pulled his own sandwich and juice box out, unwrapped it while watching the TV show James had on. “I gave you grape and fruit punch juice boxes because I wasn’t sure what you liked more."

James looked at his. "Oh, I like orange the most."

Isco stared at him. "Right. Well I'm not a fan so sorry. You can squeeze some oranges though, Sofia has like twenty over there."

James looked to him. "I was just kidding."

He was so serious though. But Isco laughed uncomfortably and muttered "good one".

They ate in silence until Isco asked James what his favorite color was.

"Probably orange." Wow. This guy was a legend. He waited a moment to see if James broke out in laughter, but James kept staring his sandwich down.

"It's ham."

"I've observed."

Isco broke out in laughter, James looked to him expectantly. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to. You're just a funny guy."

James chuckled lightly. "Funny?"

"Yeah, freaking hilarious." And Isco truly thought that maybe there really was some funny monster stuck in there, he'd just have to get him out of there.

"Thanks?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'm gonna go." He stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and threw the juice box away.

"Can we get turkey tomorrow?" James asked from his couch. Isco laughed and nodded. "

~  
"You really think he's funny?" 

"Yeah Sofia, freaking hilarious."

"Stop being an ass."

"What, I'm telling you the truth?"

"Isco I know he's a little shy and doesn't joke around like you, but he's really really great. If you'd been talking to him for these past few years then you'd know."

Isco sighed. "Sofi, I think he's hilarious. I swear to you."

Sofia changed the subject so he assumed she believed him.

~  
"This is great quality turkey." James commented when he bit in. He had swallows of course, because that's what polite individuals did.

"Thank you, I only ask for the best quality. It's usually also the cheapest."

James looked up stunned. "This is cheap?"

Isco laughed. "Um, yeah. I can't afford to pay 7 bucks a piece."

"I can't believe it. The ham I buy for that price never tastes this good?"

Isco pat him on the back. "I thought Sofia would have taught you the ways of the poor by now. But then again if I had that type of money next to my bed every night, then I'd forget about this ham too."

"Did you just call me money?"

"No, buddy, no I was talking about the money hidden in your drawer."

"Oh." It was a shot in the dark, but Isco rarely missed.

~  
He brought a vegetarian sandwich the next day.

"I'm not a rabbit, but this lettuce isn't too bad." Isco broke out laughing. He knew it, there was a funny guy somewhere in there. "What?" He just didn't know he was in there.

"Nothing. I know, I'm not either but it's a nice change sometimes."

"Yeah, I suppose." He pulled his juice box out and his eyes widened. 

"What?"

"You got me an orange pouch?"

"No no no buddy, I got myself orange and you happen to like it too." James smiled to himself and poked the straw in.

"My favorite color is purple by the way. But I hate the flavor grape so don't get any ideas of the future." James smiled for the first genuine time and now Isco understood why his sister was getting married to him.

"Don't worry, I won't."

"I also enjoy large diamonds, dogs and money. Just for the future brother in law gifts you'll be buying in the future." He wasn't a self promoter, but this was important stuff and he might as well throw it out there.

"I enjoy turkey, orange juice and updated Fifa games, also for future reference." Didn't require much, Isco liked that.

They finished up their sandwiches, James threw their trash away and Isco pulled his shoes on.

"What are we eating tomorrow?"

James looked at him shamefully. "Um, I go back to work tomorrow so you're eating alone."

"Oh," Isco smiled, "right. Well, it was nice getting to know you more. I'll be around of course, Sofia will kill me otherwise."

James smiled back. "You can come over later though. I'll probably be hungry anyways."

"Yeah, but Sofia will be home and her cooking is a million times better than these sandwiches."

"She doesn't have the turkey though." James blushed, Isco laughed. 

"Ok, fine." He left without saying goodbye because what was the point in saying goodbye anyways.

~  
He did bring over the turkey sandwiches. Soft was home already.

"He said that? Fine, I'll go back to buying the cheap stuff then."

"No no no, you don't have to, love, I'll still eat the expensive turkey." He kissed her, Isco watched as comfortably as he could, which was very uncomfortable.

"Right, well I'll be on my way then."

"Stay and eat the damn sandwiches at least," Sofia told him. Isco wanted to say no but they both smiled at him (James much more awkwardly than Sofia) so he agreed. Because he wished for the awkwardness to cease.

Isco cracked some jokes. Sofia cracked some jokes. James tried and Isco ended up laughing uncontrollably while Sofia laughed more controllably. 

"Ok, now I'm really going." He threw his plate in the sink, threw James' sandwich into the fridge and started pulling his shoes on.

"By the way, since we're future brothers in law and all, here's my future brother in law number." James laughed and took the slip of paper.

"Future thanks and all."

He kissed Sofia on the cheek, almost kissed James on the cheek, and shook his hand in the end before leaving.

~  
He brought a tortilla two days later. James' car was in the driveway.

"Back early?"

"Dismissed early. It wasn't a pre game training so we could go faster."

"Right. Of course." Isco had no idea what he just said. "Well mom still thinks Sofia is incapable of cooking so here's a tortilla she made. It's probably cold and getting soggy so I recommend eating it ASAP."

He looked to Isco whose cheeks were already full of tortilla.

"Sowwy-" he mumbled and some fell out. Isco wanted to throw up but he laughed instead.

"Well mom will be thrilled you love it."

James nodded, swallowed and cleared his throat. "Want to play FIFA with me?"

Yeah why not. "Yeah, why not." So he sat down and chose the first team with a crown he saw. Which turned out to be True Madrid.

"Do you like the team?"

"Who, Real Madrid's team? Yeah they're all great. I love the guy who plays with 10."

Isco found it odd that James didn't know his team person's name. "Really? Yeah me too. He's great. He's such a great dude." So Isco played it knowingly, but safe.

"Thanks." James laughed, Isco widened his eyes.

"You're 10?"

"Sofi never told you?"

Isco smiled. "I'll be honest, I do not give a shit about football. My whole family shits their pants about your team but I'd rather watch a knitting channel. I don't see the fun in watching nicely toned men run after a ball for hours."

"It's only 90 minutes."

"Whatever. Feels like hours. Now if they were shirtless, then that's a different story, but otherwise? Who cares. Sofia was the only interested child and that's probably why dad loves her more."

James smiled. "Well I can get you to get loved more, if you want."

Isco looked to him oddly. 

"I mean there's a team party this weekend and it's open to everyone. You can come if you want."

Isco laughed. "I make sticky notes stick for a living." James didn't understand. "Which means I'm not a party person. And no offense but I didn't expect you to be one either."

"I'm not. I go for the image. Plus we could use some nerds here and there."

Isco wanted to be offended but he couldn't. "Is Sofi going?"

"No; she hates those things. Too loud and obnoxious for her, but I can't disagree."

Isco nodded. He could go or he could stay at home and watch his mother make tortillas all day while dad yelled at the oil stinking up the whole house.

"Fine, I'll go. But don't think I don't have better things to do. I just want dad to love me for once."

James smiled his smile again. Isco smiled more.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the uh oh begins.

Isco didn’t know what to wear to the party. It was probably casual but what if it wasn’t and it was a banquet type of party with suits and dress shoes? But then again James said Sofia didn’t like them and Sofia rarely didn’t like dressing up. But what if it was like a super casual party? Like baggy sweatpants and stained shirts with your hair all messed up because they’ll be drunk and sleeping soon enough anyways?

But he decided to look normal, so he put his semi nice button up top on and the jeans with the rips but not so many rips that his mom yelled at him for it and before he left the house he cologned himself and his mom asked what smelled so much.

“Manly perfume.”

“You finally have a girlfriend?”

Isco was too tired and in a hurry to explain to her for the 20th time.

~  
James looked similarly except you could tell his shirt was better quality and newer and his pants had more rips.

“I’m glad we have the same tastes.” Isco smiled because they both had white on. James just looked in the mirror at them and nodded.

“How big is this? Because I’ve been to some pretty big parties but, I just want to get a feel for what mood to get in you know?” It was a lie. The only party he had been to was his grandma’s annual birthday party and about 20 seven year old parties for when he was working as a balloon blower. The balloons popped every time and so did his job.

“Not very big. It’s not too far into the season for that yet.” So James expected 20-30 people and he was ok with that. That would be easy, he wouldn’t have to be awkward with too many people. It was good.

~  
It wasn’t good, it so wasn’t good because a small party was about 100 people in ripped jeans with button ups that were different colored and it was fine if they didn’t keep asking him questions.

“So you’re James’ girl’s brother huh?”

“Oh, so you’re number 10’s girlfriend’s brother?”

“Oh so you’re that guy that’s the brother of the girl that James is going to marry?”

“Oh, you’re Sofia’s brother!” That was Marcelo. He assumed James then must have told them her name was Sofia and the rest were to stupid to remember.

“Yeah, I’m her - I mean him. I’m him.”

“Then where is she?”

Isco thought about it for a second and contemplated whether it would be weird if he -

“I told you, she doesn’t like these types of things.” James came up from behind him and put his hand on Isco’s shoulder. Marcelo laughed. “So you bring a new partner to dance with?”

James took the hand away quickly. Isco smelled vodka on him. “No, no I didn’t.”

“I mean, we can dance if you wanna. I didn’t think you were the dancing type but I took ballet lessons when I was like 5 so I still have it in me I think.” James and Marcelo looked to him. Isco thought about regretting saying that, but Isco rarely regretted.

“It’s ok, come on.” and he shoulder grabbed him away, leaving Marcelo in the back.

~  
“I don’t know if you’re much of a drinker, but here’s our bartender so feel free to use it whenever you want.”

“Use him, not it.” Sergio yelled at him, but James ignored and took a sip from his cup. 

“Didn’t think you were much of a drinker either. But I don’t have any story to go with that one besides the time when I got diarrhea from beer for some reason.” He shrugged, James laughed.

“I’ll just yours then.” he didn’t know any drinks’ names and he didn’t want to look stupid in front of the heavily tattooed Sergio dude, so he grabbed James’ cup. Their fingers brushed but he barely noticed. It was a cup grabbing type of event. “Wow, this is the most fucking gross thing I’ve ever drank.” he made a face while smiling and handed the cup back, James laughed again.

“Yeah, it’s ok. I don’t like drinking but I do it so people leave me alone.” He didn’t say anything more, Isco ran out of jokes to make because the topic had been run down.

“Should he be climbing on that statue?” He pointed, James shook his head no.

“But Modric does stupid things when he’s wasted.” Isco nodded.

And they were quiet. And it got slightly weird for the first time since Isco sat on his couch and watched him play his game. And James shifted on his feet and then Cristiano jumped out from behind them and asked Isco if he wanted to dance.

“Me?”

“No, your boyfriend. Yes of course you.” James grew red but he was buzzed so it didn’t show. Isco looked to him. “Oh, shut up your eyes just come on.”

And Isco danced with Cristiano around the pool with their shirts partially unbuttoned and Cristiano’s breath staining Isco’s nostrils and his sandals getting wet from the pool puddles everyone was making, but it was ok he guessed. His heart was pounding and he felt stupid with all the eyes watching him (even if no one actually cared and James was the only one looking), but it was nice. Much nicer than stacking papers for sure.

~  
“There’s another party next weekend if you want to go.” James shut the car door behind him as Isco shrugged.

“Yeah why not. No one banged me today so maybe next time I’ll stop being a virgin.” he smiled to himself and James looked at him oddly.

“Maybe.”

~  
“But you didn’t tell me.”

Sofia was mad. Isco didn’t expect it so his jokes weren’t as good.

“Well yeah but Sofia, I didn’t tell you so that you could have one less gray hair to worry about.”

“I don’t have gray hairs asshole. And you should have told me regardless. I don’t care if you go but I do when you treat it like a secret.”

It was never a secret, but Isco didn’t feel like explaining himself.

“Fine, I’m going to another one this weekend then.”

His answer was the dial tone.

~  
-they let me off, if you have turkey sandwiches then u can come over-

He doubted Sofia was home. He didn’t think he’d get invited if she was. But if she came home then he could say sorry.

-fine.- 

He was out of turkey but the store wasn’t that far,

~  
“She yelled at me a little bit. She usually doesn’t care if I go, because she declines but she was just surprised that you agreed. She doesn’t like me going and you’re baby brother.”

Isco rolled his eyes and stuffed his sandwich into his mouth. “Well I told her I was going to the party again this weekend and she hung up on me.”

James shrugged. “You know her better than me.” But he found it odd that her future husband maybe divorced was saying that.

~  
James told him to wear shorts and short sleeve this time because it was going to be a more “shorts and short sleeve type of occasion.”

“The only shorts I have is speedo shorts, is that ok?” James laughed. He was cute when he laughed.

“Yeah, they’ll love it. You’ll be memorable and then you can come every time.” He looked at Isco, Isco sipped on his juice box. “Juice-tastic.” It was a bad one, but he loved puns in all forms.

~  
Sofia never came. Isco decided he should probably be a little bit less late back to work this time.

“I’ll tell her that we’re going too. She won’t be mad, don’t worry.” Isco didn’t worry, but whatever James wanted to do. He was pulling his shoes one, balancing on one leg and James came over to hold him by the elbow. He flinched slightly, but James smiled.

“Right, then I’ll be on my way.”

“Right.” Isco stood back on both feet, James’ grip shifted to his upper arm.

“Right.” Isco said to himself and James looked startled.

“Oh, right.” he pulled away and Isco smiled. 

“I’ll let you know when you can pick me up.”

~  
He wore shorts as were requested. They had hawaiian flowers on them, very big hawaiian flowers, but it was all that he could find. They were tight in the front and loose in the back because he’d been disproportional in the past, but it’s not like James would care. And it wasn’t like James caring mattered, because it didn’t.

-I’m ready- But James was already in the car near his street so by the time Isco put his shoes on and fought his mother about the new fashion styles and all the reasons he didn’t need a jacket, James was honking and Isco was leaving with a jacket draped over his arm.

“It’s 90 degrees.”

“I live with my mom.”

~  
He decided he was going to drink this time. The drink James was horrible but he had been googling the ingredients to some and he decided he was going to try it out. They said Sergio was good at his side job, so why not taste test him out.

James ordered his gross stuff. Isco asked for Sex on the Beach. “Babe we all want that but I can only work two jobs, so I can’t serve you.” Isco looked stunned, he heard James laughing beside him and a nudge in his hip.

“Just give him the damn thing Sergio.” And Sergio shrugged and began.

“That’s an actual thing, isn’t it?” he turned to James and sat on the barstool.

“Sex on the Beach? Yeah, but Sergio actually can’t give it to you. You’ll have to hire someone else.” He smiled and Isco rolled his eyes, kicking him.

“I work in a cubicle but I’m not that stupid.” Sergio pushed his drink down, Isco took a sip. “Oh wow.”

“Better than juice pouches?”

“No, never but…. Wow. Sex on the Beach tastes great.” He was too busy drinking it to notice James’ leg wrap around his and too busy to feel his leg tighten back around.

He asked for a Mojito next. Sergio complained about the complexity of the drinks. He didn’t feel his other leg wrapping around James’ this time, but the drink was fantastic.

“I’ll give you a daiquiri. They’re James’ favorite.”

“That gross shit he has in his cup?” He hiccuped and laughed, James punched him while spilling a bit of the drink. They were buzzed. Isco wanted more.

“No, it’s better. It’s complicated and Sergio hates me and I only get it for special occasions.”

Isco propped his head up on his hands and looked to Sergio. “Oh, really? And what’s the event now?” Sergio watched them lean closer as the blender worked. “You’ll figure it out yourselves.”

~  
By his fifth one, Isco was ready to sing.

“Sing with me!” he told James, James wasn’t as drunk as him but he wasn’t in very good condition.

“No. No, no, no no no no no.” He shoved Isco off of his shoulder. “I’m - I’m not sinking.”

“Sink you fucking Colombiano, just do it I know you’re a pro sinker.”

So James started singing. At the top of his lungs with his voice cracking and off key, but he started singing and Isco sang along with words he made up along the way because he had no idea what the song was.

Sergio decided it was time to retire for the night and everyone else was outside dancing with Cristiano around the pool. So James and Isco sang song after song after song, until Isco got up and pulled James from his chair.

“I have to- I- I- I just have to show you, you - show you my ballet skills.” He muttered and wrapped James’ noodle arms around his shoulders. They took five steps and Isco ended up stepping on James’ foot, James yelping and their sides leaning against the bar counter. They didn’t think to unwrap themselves from their chests and both were too tired and disoriented to be able to stand up straight independently.

“I think we’re stuck. Oh no.” James mumbled, his eyes wide and staring at Isco who looked down on him, a little double chin forming and his eyes bulging because of the angle.

“Should we call god?”

James shook his head furiously no. “No, we can’t because god doesn’t like us.”

“What you meaning?” Isco tried rolling his eyes but they just lolled to the side. “Mom takes me to church every weekends and god always says he loves me.”

“No, no, no Isco god, he can’t he just can’t, I just -” and he kissed him. Right on the lips, sloppily and wet, but Isco kissed back and stuck his tongue in his mouth before pulling away as abruptly as a drunk Isco could.

“Gosh darn dang it, James. You were right.” And their legs gave out. A pile of limbs on the floor.


End file.
